


Inappropiate affections

by thelastwillfall



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, But Shane is there for him, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Ryan is so scared
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-16
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-17 17:34:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21058295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelastwillfall/pseuds/thelastwillfall
Summary: Ryan doesn't like to talk about his feelings. When Shane confronts him about his weird behaviour, Ryan has to decide if giving up and tell him what he feels or keep his mouth shut and don't tell him at all.





	1. The dark in the room

**Author's Note:**

> Ok- so... This is my first time writing this kind of things, about them, for this fandom, and on this site. English isn't my first language so I'm very sorry for any mistakes! If you have any prompt about Ryan and Shane (doesn't have to be a pairing) that you want me to write, please, send it to me!

Ryan never liked to talk about his feelings.

He would prefer to be the listener, the one that was always there to comfort you.  
That's why he felt so weird right now, having Shane seated in front of him, with an expectant glare and his brows furrowed. He felt even worse, seeing him like this- so worried about his pathetic feelings. Why did he even want to listen to him? It wasn't like his feelings were important. He was, after all, the scaredy-cat, the guy that would always hold a strong belief in the supernatural, and the one to make fun of.

_"Buddy"_, he felt Shane's voice calling him. And when he didn't look up, he heard the man in front of him sigh, followed by the warm feeling of his hand being placed on his shoulder. This only made him flinch and his head sunk lower. _"C'mon, tell me what's wrong. You've been all weird lately. Like, weirder than usual"._ He heard him chuckle, but he couldn't replicate the sound.

He knew Shane was right. He had been plagued by his thoughts and feelings these past weeks, and he no longer had the strength to hide it at all. And the worst part? _Shane was the cause of it_. He tried to ignore it at first, focus on something else. But after a while, it was undeniable; _he was in love with Shane._  
He felt like shit just thinking about it. He was his friend, for God's sake! He shouldn't be feeling like he was feeling right now, having Shane so close to him. He could feel his palms sweat and his heart beat faster and faster by each passing second. He felt himself shake. He wanted to pull Shane closer, and he wanted to get away from him. He wanted to kiss him, and he wanted to never see him again.  
He felt his throat burn, and his lips tremble. He wanted to assure the man in front of him that he was alright, that he would be alright, but he couldn't open his mouth. He felt desperate, tears were already starting to fall, feeling his skin get hotter when they fell down his face.

Shane didn't understand what was going on. He had never seen Ryan so sad before- let alone _cry._ Just the mere sight of it made his heart ache terribly.  
He didn't know what to do. Should he hug him? Wipe his tears? Comfort him? He wanted to do all that so badly, feel Ryan under his arms, make him feel safe. But how would he react? Would he hate him? Would he accept him?  
He put away these thoughts when he saw Ryan's face covered in tears. _He needed him_.

Moving to sit beside him, he moved his hand to Ryan's back and used his other hand to bring the smaller man close to his chest.  
He heard him gasp and then felt his shaking hands reach out to hug him.  
They spent a while, hugging like that. The warm Shane provided was enough to make Ryan never want to let go. He sobbed a little, and Shane moved his hand through his back in a circular motion, trying to comfort him. When he calmed down a little, Shane pulled out slightly to cope Ryan's face with his hands and gazed directly into his teary eyes.

_"Please, Ryan. Tell me...",_ he begged, his voice low as a whisper, _"What's causing you so much pain?"._

Ryan tried to turn his face away, but Shane's firm hands kept him in place. He was trapped there, looking into Shane's beautiful eyes.  
He gulped, and tried to make his voice work:

_"T-there's something wrong with me...",_ he stuttered out, his voice trembling, _"I've been feeling... things, that I- I shouldn't feel"._  
He stared at Shane, trying to find some comfort in his eyes, eyes that were so full of worry and confusion

_"I have been feeling like that for a long, long time, but... I only figured it all out some weeks ago and...",_ he breathed out, gulped again, and tried to continue, _"...and it is wrong. God, it is so wrong! I don't know what to do anymore!"_  
He closed his eyes, feeling the hot tears coming back again. _"I hate myself for this. I hate myself for feeling this way-"_

_"Ryan",_ Shane called him, stopping his screaming._ "Tell me, what is that that you feel?"._

Ryan stared at him, deciding it would be better if he could just say it at once and endure the heartbreak that it would cause him. He needed to face it now. With a shaky breath, he stuttered out:

_"I love you"._


	2. The light in the room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, English is not my first language, but I tried.  
I was going to keep this one-chapter-long, you know? But it ended in a really sad way and I didn't really like that... so, here it is: the final chapter!

Ryan stared at the taller man, waiting for his response. His heart was beating faster than ever, and he was sure he was now shaking with impatience and a slight fear that was starting to make his head hurt.  
He saw Shane's hands being pulled away from his face and felt the coldness and the empty feeling it left on his skin.

_"You what?"._ Shane's tone was soft, although it was full of disbelief, and Ryan didn't find comfort in that. He wanted to respond to that question, tell him how much he loved him, for as long he has been feeling this way, describe all the beauty that Shane holds in his existence. His voice, his laugh, his hair, his hands-

  
He had noticed, through the years, the softness in the voice and glares that Shane would reserve for him- _only for him_. The change was very obvious if you were talking with Shane and Ryan suddenly walked in. His eyes would get brighter, and a big smile would appear on his face. It was adorable, really. But it pained Ryan, not knowing if the cause of the change in Shane's expressions had to do with some kind of love or if it was only because he was one of his best friends.   
He blamed himself for thinking that way, thinking that Shane would ever hold such feelings towards him, but he really couldn't help it. He hated having such high hope, but that's what he had, and he had to deal with it for so much time until he exploded, revealing everything in front of the man of his dreams.

  
He had been too lost in his thoughts to notice the way that Shane's hands had traveled, once again, to his face, until he heard his soft voice again:

_"Please, Ryan... Say that again"._   
He stared at Shane, a confused expression on his face. He wanted to say it again, repeat it until his throat hurt and his lungs ran out of oxygen. He really wanted to, but his tongue was stuck. He felt his forehead being covered in sweat, and he was struggling to breathe.   
He stood up from his seat and felt his knees tremble. He felt so desperate right now.

_"Ryan, please, look at me. You have to calm down"._ Shane was whispering, but his worry could be heard. _"Breathe in, then out"._   
Ryan did as instructed, trying to catch his breath.

_"I...I-"_ he tried to speak, but Shane hushed him.

_"Don't try to speak. Just breathe."_ But he wanted to speak, he wanted- no, he _needed_ to tell him.

_"No- I...",_ he breathed in, _"Shane, I..."_, then out, _"I love you. I really do. I love you so, so much..."_. He said all that in a fast, desperate way. He felt exhausted, after experiencing so many emotions in so little time.   
He felt dizzy; his head was spinning, and he tried to keep himself standing.  
Shane noticed this and moved forward to grab Ryan by his waist and back, in an effort to help him.  
He could feel his exhaustion just by having the man in his arms. So he brought him closer, hugging him.

_"Jesus Christ, Ryan..., I love you too"_. He tried to end the smaller ones suffering. _"I was just as afraid as you, y'know? I didn't even think that you would ever share my feelings"._ He laughed a little, seeing Ryan's surprised expression. _"Who would have thought the most beautiful angel on Earth would love such an idiot like me?"._  
Ryan could feel the warm rush of blood that was now located on his cheeks. He felt so embarrassed right now. It was inevitable, with Shane saying these things. He made him feel in a daze, one that felt so blissful, and he was starting to get addicted to it.  
  
_"Shu-shut up..."_ Ryan let out a nervous laugh. His cheeks were even hotter now.

_"Nope. Oh, no, I will never shut up about you"_. Shane had the biggest grin on his face, and it suited him, in Ryan's opinion.   
He felt himself growing closer into Shane's warmth until their faces were so close that they were almost touching. They don't know who started it, but when they came back to their senses, they have already been kissing for a while.

  
And they stayed there, shielded from the world that was starting to fall into the darkness of the night.


End file.
